MIND READERS DICTIONARY

For reading between the lines with greater comprehension

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The Second Fundamental: Stalemates and infinite loops in a human-persuade-human world.

Posted in September 27th, 2007
by Jeremy Sherman in Can I trust them?, How can I communicate this to her?, How should I handle it with my friend?, How should I handle this conflict?, How should I negotiate this?, Is there a win/win solution?, Is this worth wondering about?, Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?, Should I fight on?, Should I get over it?, Should I give in?, Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?, Should I say it?, What should I do about this business problem?, What should we do about this family issue?

“You can’t change other people. All you can do is change your attitude.” People say this sort of thing when they’ve decided to stop trying to change someone. Maybe generalizing like this helps convince them to let go, but of course it’s not true. Influence happens. Influence is as old as ecosystems. We are extensions […]

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Extended Memotype: On Advice, Part 1

Posted in September 21st, 2007
by Jeremy Sherman in Can I trust them?, How can I communicate this to her?, How should I handle this conflict?, How should I negotiate this?, Is there a win/win solution?, Should I fight on?, Should I get over it?, Should I give in?, Should I say it?

People who give advice are annoying, kind, nosy, generous, pushy, helpful, proud, selfless, self-serving, and domineering. My advice is to ignore them completely and at your own expense. I’ve been given advice-and as you know, I give my share of advice, too. Well, perhaps more than my share. I’ve been thinking about the dynamics of […]

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Confidence Levels: Are you sure you’re sure?

Posted in May 31st, 2006
by Jeremy Sherman in Can I change him?, Can I trust them?, How can I communicate this to her?, How should I handle it with my friend?, How should I handle this conflict?, How should I negotiate this?, Is there a win/win solution?, Is this a sign?, Is this worth fighting for?, Is this worth wondering about?, Should I commit?, Should I expect less from them?, Should I expect more from them?, Should I fight on?, Should I give in?, Should I just accept this?, Should I say it?, Should I take what he said to heart?, What should we do about this family issue?, What's the moral thing to do here?

One of my favorite decision theory jokes goes like this: A man is boasting about his successful marriage. A friend asks him what’s the secret. “It’s a simple division of labor,” the happy husband says. “She makes all the little decisions and I make all the big ones.” “For example?” the friend asks. “She decides […]

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Third-order guidance: Wisdom for people who know better than to take dictation

Posted in April 26th, 2006
by Jeremy Sherman in Can I do better?, Is this a sign?, Is this worth wondering about?, Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?, Should I get over it?, What's the moral thing to do here?, What's the spiritual thing to do?

A dear old professor of mine wrote suggesting that I give more guidance or advice in these Mind Readers columns. To me, guidance comes in three varieties. The first tells people what they should always do. The second tells people to find the happy medium between two or more things they should do. The third […]

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Selectrician: Wiring yourself for sound growth

Posted in July 5th, 2004
by Jeremy Sherman in Should I fight on?, Should I give in?, Should I sacrifice?, Which move helps my career?

Definition: People who apply the evolutionary theory of natural selection to their own lives, wiring up the natural selective pressures in their environments to bring out the best in them. Have you noticed what a wimp willpower is? We’d be fools to depend on it to hold us to our New Year’s resolutions, our diets, […]

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