Within or about: Three positions one can take in an argument.

Posted in December 4th, 2008
by in Can I change him?, Can I trust them?, How can I communicate this to her?, How should I handle it with my friend?, How should I handle this conflict?, How should I negotiate this?, Is there a win/win solution?, Is this worth fighting for?, Should I expect less from them?, Should I expect more from them?, Should I say it?, What is my role here?, What should I do about this business problem?, What should I do?, What should we do about this family issue?, What to do about finances?, Which move helps my career?

Last week I said I envied Obama’s patience in conflict, and this week as promised brings more about what it takes to display that sort of poise. This discussion also keys into two of the main themes that run through my thinking and writing. One is that the foundation of good behavior is built not […]

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Mindreader’s Rights: Don’t tell me what I’m thinking

Posted in October 5th, 2007
by in Can I trust them?, How can I communicate this to her?, How should I handle it with my friend?, How should I handle this conflict?, How should I negotiate this?, Is this a sign?, Is this worth wondering about?, Should I fight on?, Should I get over it?, Should I give in?, Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?, Should I say it?

Doctor: Bob, bad news. You’ve got cancer. Bob: Well, I’m going to want a second opinion. Doctor: All right, you’re ugly too. Joe: X is true. Sue: No it’s not. Joe: You just don’t want to admit it’s true because you’re stubborn. Sue: That’s not true. Joe: Yes it is. Sue: Don’t tell me what […]

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Poser-Proof Practices: Don’t tell–show

Posted in August 16th, 2007
by in How can I communicate this to her?, How should I handle it with my friend?, How should I handle this conflict?, How should I negotiate this?, Is this a sign?, Is this worth wondering about?, Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?, What should I do about this business problem?, What should we do about this family issue?, Which move helps my career?

You expect people to walk their talk. When they have for a while you gain confidence that they will continue to do so, that they’re as good as their word. With established rapport, the question of whether they keep their word doesn’t even come up. But when you haven’t known someone long or when some […]

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Truth or Care: Thanks but no thanks for sharing

Posted in November 9th, 2006
by in Can I change him?, Can I do better?, How can I communicate this to her?, How should I handle it with my friend?, How should I handle this conflict?, Is there a win/win solution?, Is this a sign?, Is this worth fighting for?, Is this worth wondering about?, Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?, Should I expect less from them?, Should I expect more from them?, Should I fight on?, Should I give in?, Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?, Should I sacrifice?, Should I say it?, Should I take what he said to heart?, What should I do about this business problem?, What to do about finances?, What's the moral thing to do here?, Which move helps my career?

Look, I consider you one of my absolutely closest friends. Maybe you can help me with this. I need your honest but polite opinion. Pull no punches, but please be gentle. I need your advice about taking advice. See, I want two things from my friends. I want enthusiastic support and I want honest feedback. […]

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