I left a band recently. I had my reasons but wasn’t sure whether to share them on exit. I didn’t want to be dishonest. I can remember times when people gave me vacuous excuses for parting with me. Here I had invested heavily in a relationship and they were too stingy to let me in […]

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I’ve been doing Mind Readers Dictionary steadily for close to five years–one article, one idea per week. Only now am I getting around the stuff that started it all for me, the universal tough judgment calls at the heart of all the uncertainty we feel in any and every area of life. Last week I […]

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“If everybody minded their own business,” the Duchess said in a hoarse growl, “the world would go round a deal faster than it does.” Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland* Minding one’s own business commonly means not minding other people’s business, but its literal meaning is still implied–don’t mind others’ business because you have business of […]

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Last week I argued that we need names for the generic tough judgment calls we all deal with. I gave a few examples: Should I be receptive or assertive? Should I manipulate or be honest? I argued that we pretend we can live by one-sided principles – assert your rights, accept things as they are, […]

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Recently, I was listening to an NPR report on Jimmy Carter’s meeting with leaders of the Palestinian militant Hamas party. The reporter had two experts on to debate the merits of Carter’s action. One argued that Carter sent the wrong message. Diplomatic engagement only encourages Hamas leaders to stand irrationally firm. The other said Carter […]

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