Archive for February, 2006

Getting Philosophical: A good coping strategy sometimes

Posted in February 23rd, 2006
by in How should I handle this conflict?, Is this a double standard?, Is this a sign?, Is this worth wondering about?, Should I get over it?, Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?, What's the spiritual thing to do?, Will it promote or discourage better behavior?

Talking to the occasional troubled friend lately, I’ve had the urge to recommend getting philosophical about the trouble. But I’ve held my tongue, largely because getting philosophical has a bad reputation. It evokes images of indifferent or glib people saying, “Hey, shit happens, what’re ya gonna do? Life ain’t a bowl of cherries.” Or maybe […]

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Suspended Animation: Killing time between hearing and deciding about criticism

Posted in February 14th, 2006
by in Can I do better?, Can I get resolution on this?, How should I handle it with my friend?, How should I handle this conflict?, How should I negotiate this?, Is there a win/win solution?, Is this a double standard?, Is this a sign?, Should I expect less from them?, Should I expect more from them?, Should I fight on?, Should I get over it?, Should I give in?, Should I just accept this?, Should I lower my expectations?, Should I reconsider?, Should I sacrifice?, Should I say it?, Should I wait?, What's the moral thing to do here?, What's the spiritual thing to do?, Will it promote or discourage better behavior?

Months ago in this column I made a distinction between ingesting and digesting critical feedback. Ingesting is taking it in. Digesting is deciding what part is nutritious and what part is waste by-product. I argued that these two activities are best separated because ingesting feedback often hurts and makes us want to reject it ALL […]

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