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	<title>MIND READERS DICTIONARY &#187; kindness</title>
	<atom:link href="http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/tag/kindness/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com</link>
	<description>For reading between the lines with greater comprehension</description>
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		<title>Within or about:  Three positions one can take in an argument.</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/within-or-about/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/within-or-about/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Dec 2008 01:01:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I change him?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth fighting for?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What is my role here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[about]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bateson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[diplomacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[honesty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meta]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Peirce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[upleveling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[within]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=1560</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Last week I said I envied Obama&#8217;s patience in conflict, and this week as promised brings more about what it takes to display that sort of poise. This discussion also keys into two of the main themes that run through my thinking and writing. One is that the foundation of good behavior is built not [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Seven habits of sometimes effective critics: Unreliable sure-fire recipes for speaking your mind</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/seven-habits/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/seven-habits/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 Nov 2008 19:08:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[criticism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[diplomacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feedback]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[niceness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[strategy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tolerance]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=1204</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Sure-fire recipes are wonderful things, and the history of civilization can be read as the search for and discovery of such recipes. Unfortunately, it can also be read as a long line of claims to have discovered allegedly sure-fire recipes that turn out to be not so sure-fire after all. Every day we experience the [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Tact Game: Is there always a winning way to give critical feedback?</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/the-tact-game/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/the-tact-game/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 Nov 2008 18:58:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[criticism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[diplomacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feedback]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[niceness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[strategy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tolerance]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=1193</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s commonly held that critical feedback never has to hurt so long as you deliver it tactfully. Tact transcends all resistance. There&#8217;s a nice way to say anything. I live by that belief and promote it to my students. I tell them to assume that there&#8217;s nothing they can&#8217;t say to anyone as long as [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Exit interview: The pros and cons of giving feedback as a relationship ends</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/exit-interview/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/exit-interview/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 Nov 2008 18:58:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[criticism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[diplomacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ending relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[exits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feedback]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[niceness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[quitting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[strategy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tolerance]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=1195</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I left a band recently. I had my reasons but wasn&#8217;t sure whether to share them on exit. I didn&#8217;t want to be dishonest. I can remember times when people gave me vacuous excuses for parting with me. Here I had invested heavily in a relationship and they were too stingy to let me in [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Lying: In politics as in everyday life, it&#8217;s not whether but when</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/should-i-say-it/lying/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/should-i-say-it/lying/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 19 Sep 2008 01:13:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[deception]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[diplomacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intimacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lying]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[niceness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=1065</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By Jeremy Sherman, Ph.D. You may have offended your friend; you&#8217;re not sure. You feel like apologizing. But if the insult didn&#8217;t even register, then you&#8217;ll open the very can of worms you&#8217;re trying to close. Still, if your friend is offended and fuming, you&#8217;d really better fix it. Should you say something? Another friend [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Conventional wisdom: In times like these we need more of what specifically?</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/conventional-wisdom/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/conventional-wisdom/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 04 May 2008 15:20:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[absolutism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[certainties]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[generosity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guinidng principles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moral absolutes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[morals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-certainty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wisdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=965</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I didn&#8217;t choose to do all this philosophizing the way one chooses a career. I got into it by necessity. What I had to go on before was inadequate. I had hit a midlife crisis armed with state-of-the-art wisdom from self-help and Buddhism . . . and it just wasn&#8217;t up to the task. That [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/conventional-wisdom/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Co-dependence: When do two wrongs make a right?</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/children/co-dependence/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/children/co-dependence/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 03 Jan 2008 03:35:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[co-dependence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[co-dependency]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friendship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[standards]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tolerance]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=947</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m trying a new way to deal with effronteries. When someone does me harm, I have an old habit of compensating myself with the grant of retaliatory superiority. I automatically think, &#8220;This proves that I&#8217;m different from (and better than) them. I hold to the high standards better than they do, and I&#8217;m therefore entitled [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Golden Paradox: If we always sacrificed for each other, no one would ever have to make sacrifices</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/the-golden-paradox/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/the-golden-paradox/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 25 Dec 2007 19:27:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[accommodation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[charity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[give and take]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Golden rule]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hierarchy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moral dilemma]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[paradox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sacrifice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tough choices]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=944</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You know me. I&#8217;ve got hardly any moral principles; I&#8217;m all about moral dilemmas. I made the case a while ago (see Liar&#8217;s Paradox Moral Litmus Test) that if you can come up with a Liar&#8217;s Paradox-like statement regarding some moral principle, then it really isn&#8217;t a moral principle. Instead, it&#8217;s a moral dilemma. In [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Other Golden Rule:  Do unto yourself as you do unto others</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/the-other-golden-rule/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/the-other-golden-rule/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 16 Dec 2007 02:24:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[double standards]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[double-standard]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[empathy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[holier than thou]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[I wouldn't put it past me]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sympathy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=943</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Golden Rule-do unto others as you would have them do unto you, is about as basic as morality gets. It&#8217;s the bridge between empathy and sympathy, between putting yourself in someone else&#8217;s shoes and making some accommodation to them as a result. Putting oneself in someone else&#8217;s shoes is, of course, a figure of [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/the-other-golden-rule/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Careful Caring: We can&#8217;t always care, so why feel guilty when called uncaring?</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/friends/careful-caring/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/friends/careful-caring/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 25 Apr 2007 16:43:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I wait?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the moral thing to do here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I missing the forest for trees?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I sliding?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[care]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[charity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[connotations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[denotations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[generosity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guilt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[loaded terms]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moral absolutes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moral principles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tough choices]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the spiritual thing to do?]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=18</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;Don&#8217;t say I don&#8217;t care. I do care.&#8221; Like many words, care means different kinds of things. It has its descriptive meaning&#8211;its denotation: Caring is a certain kind of behavior. But it also has its prescriptive meaning&#8211;its connotation: Caring is good. You should care. Being uncaring is bad. Combining denotation and connotation you get a [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Shop Talk: Compatibility in negotiating our incompatibilities.</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/shop-talk/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/shop-talk/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 14 Jun 2006 17:19:08 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I change him?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth fighting for?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I just accept this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I take what he said to heart?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the spiritual thing to do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[agreeing to disagree]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[belief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[common ground]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[compatibility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[differences]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[diplomacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friendship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pragmatism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=146</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I’d heard that a famous old religious scholar lived down the street, so when I saw him at a block party a few years back, just when I was getting into this philosophizing, I approached him and asked if we could have lunch sometime. See, I had designed a new religion. I called it “Taowinism” [...]]]></description>
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