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	<title>MIND READERS DICTIONARY &#187; Can I get resolution on this?</title>
	<atom:link href="http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/category/is-this-a-sign/ambivalence/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com</link>
	<description>For reading between the lines with greater comprehension</description>
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		<item>
		<title>Affirmation Bias: Before certainty, ask, &#8220;Compared to what?&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/affirmation-bias/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/affirmation-bias/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 13 Apr 2006 21:41:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I do better?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I reconsider?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I take what he said to heart?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the moral thing to do here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the spiritual thing to do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cognitive dissonance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[decided]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[deciding]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[denial]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[indecision]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rationalizing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[resolve]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wondering]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=5</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve argued elsewhere that being either open-minded or close-minded is intrinsically neither good nor bad. Both open-mindedness and close-mindedness have their benefits and costs. Open is great for exploring options but terrible for sticking with them. Conversely, closed is terrible for exploring options and great for sticking with them. The best allocation between open-minded and [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Methodoxy: Being principled about means when ends are what count</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/methodoxy/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/methodoxy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 Apr 2006 01:46:48 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I do better?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth fighting for?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I reconsider?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I take what he said to heart?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the spiritual thing to do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Information theory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intuition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Logic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[means and ends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[perfect formulae]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[policies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[principle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rationalles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[recipes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rules]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trusting your gut]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=75</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;How can you say &#8220;Trust your gut?&#8221; Guts can be wrong — you have to use your head!&#8221; If there&#8217;s one question on everybody&#8217;s mind, it&#8217;s &#8220;What should I do?&#8221; or, to elaborate a bit, &#8220;What&#8217;s the most I can do with what I&#8217;m dealt to bring out the best here?&#8221; Mind you, most of [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/methodoxy/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Eleventh-Hour Initiative: Expect a snag just before rollout</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/eleventh-hour-initiative/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/eleventh-hour-initiative/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 Mar 2006 23:44:10 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth fighting for?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I just accept this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I reconsider?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I take what he said to heart?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[attention]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[consciousness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dreams of certainty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[last minute changes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[putting on the breaks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[satisficing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[uncertainty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[unconsciousness]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=31</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;I can&#8217;t believe what just happened. You remember, months ago, the committee told me to develop a promo plan? Well, as you know, I&#8217;ve been working on it. I brought them updates all along, which they approved, though it wasn&#8217;t clear how much attention they were paying.&#8221; &#8220;On schedule, I brought the promo plan to [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Startup Hill: A map for navigating career change considerations</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/startup-hill/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/startup-hill/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Mar 2006 23:21:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I do better?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth fighting for?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I just accept this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I reconsider?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I wait?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ambition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[comfort zone]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[entrepreneur]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[expectation management]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mid-life crisis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[planning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[retirement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[second life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[second wind]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=152</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I go running in the hills with a friend pretty much every weekend. Actually, I don&#8217;t run, my body does. I talk, and under the amazing druglike influence of my body&#8217;s compensation for the pain of running, I think up a lot of the stuff that goes into these essays. My running partner and I [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/startup-hill/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Suffering and Insensitivity: The anatomy of two necessary evils we must strive to eradicate</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/career/suffering-and-insensitivity/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/career/suffering-and-insensitivity/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Mar 2006 22:58:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I change him?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I do better?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth fighting for?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I just accept this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I reconsider?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I wait?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the moral thing to do here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the spiritual thing to do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[false negatives]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[false positives]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[grief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[imperfection]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[insensitivity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[morality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sadness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[signal detection theory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[suffering]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=154</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;I tell you what. If I were granted one wish, I would use it to end all suffering and insensitivity. A complete eradication, plain and simple.&#8221; Ending needless suffering and cruel insensitivity would be nice. How would you do it? With a granted wish, you could simply excise them surgically — cutting out the cancer [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/career/suffering-and-insensitivity/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Flail Blazing: Error increases when you&#8217;re chasing a moving target</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/flail-blazing/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/flail-blazing/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 20 Mar 2006 19:34:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I do better?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth fighting for?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I just accept this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[aiming]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[game change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[judgment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lame duck]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moving target]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overestimate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sea change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shift]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[signal detection]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[transition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[underestimate]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=42</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The increase in error that accompanies trail blazing activities. For example, when traveling, we generally get lost more often. When studying brand new material we generally make more errors. When starting a new job, we generally mess up more often. When inventing something new we generally make a lot of non-functional prototypes. Mistakes come with [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/flail-blazing/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Hegeling: The cast of characters in every debate</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/hegeling/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/hegeling/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 Mar 2006 20:02:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I do better?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth fighting for?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I wait?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the moral thing to do here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the spiritual thing to do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Will it promote or discourage better behavior?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[conservatives]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emergence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hard choices]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hegel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[history]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[progressives]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[radicals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[resistance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[revisionists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[telos]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=55</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Philosopher Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel got many things wrong, but one of his central themes rings true: Learning moves in cycles of thesis, antithesis, and synthesis. Hegel&#8217;s theory, outlined (and illustrated) below, suggests not only why people often disagree about how to end a debate but also details the five basic end points they advocate. [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/hegeling/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Just Fork-edit: While choosing, hold the fork; after choosing, lose it</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/should-i-stay/just-fork-edit/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/should-i-stay/just-fork-edit/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 13 Mar 2006 18:57:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I do better?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I just accept this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I reconsider?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[choice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[closure]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[completenes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[decided]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[deciding]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fork in the road]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[indecision]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[options]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=62</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Just fork-editing is editing a branch off a decision fork you face, thereby making it possible to proceed as though there were no choice to be made. Just fork-editing is necessary. We all face too many choices. We can&#8217;t attend to them all, so of course we find ways to ignore many of the forks [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Rational: In search of a well reasoned definition</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/should-i-commit/rational/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/should-i-commit/rational/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 12 Mar 2006 14:10:53 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I change him?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I do better?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a double standard?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I lower my expectations?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I reconsider?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[compared to what]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[comparisons]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[denominator]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[impulse]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Information theory]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intuition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Logic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[misdenominational]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[numerator]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ratio]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ration]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rational]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reason]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[telos]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=108</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[DEFINITION 1. Weighing all pros and cons. 2. Weighing some (not all) pros and cons. 3. Weighing the right pros and cons. 4. Weighing the pros and cons that I want you to. Socrates argued that we all want to better our circumstances. No one is out to get less of what they want. When [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Suspended Animation: Killing time between hearing and deciding about criticism</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/friends/suspended-animation/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/friends/suspended-animation/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Feb 2006 23:12:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I do better?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a double standard?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I just accept this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I lower my expectations?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I reconsider?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I wait?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the moral thing to do here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the spiritual thing to do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Will it promote or discourage better behavior?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blowback]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[confrontation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[constructive criticism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[critical]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[digesting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feedback]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ingesting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[patience]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pushback]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-doubt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trouble]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=155</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Months ago in this column I made a distinction between ingesting and digesting critical feedback. Ingesting is taking it in. Digesting is deciding what part is nutritious and what part is waste by-product. I argued that these two activities are best separated because ingesting feedback often hurts and makes us want to reject it ALL [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Floodlighting: When the going stays tough, the tough make a master list</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/floodlighting/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/floodlighting/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 Oct 2005 18:23:07 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I do better?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a double standard?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth fighting for?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I just accept this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I lower my expectations?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I quit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I reconsider?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I relax?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I take what he said to heart?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I wait?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What is my role here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the moral thing to do here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the spiritual thing to do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Will it promote or discourage better behavior?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[choice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[leave it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[logical possibilities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[menu]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[options]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[peripheral vision]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[take it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[try to change it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tunnel vision]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=43</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In an argument, participants typically take turns shining a spotlight on the options they want or don&#8217;t want. I&#8217;m fascinated by how rarely anyone shines a floodlight instead of a spotlight, aiming to expose all options at once. By &#8220;all options&#8221; I mean more than just the prevailing proposals—but less than the infinite variety of [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Dilemmacist: When life gives you dilemmas&#8230;</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/dilemmacist/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/dilemmacist/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 17 Jul 2005 18:21:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I change him?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I do better?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a double standard?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth fighting for?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I just accept this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I lower my expectations?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I quit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I reconsider?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I relax?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I take what he said to heart?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I wait?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What is my role here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the moral thing to do here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the spiritual thing to do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Will it promote or discourage better behavior?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dilemmacists]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dilemmas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gamma error]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[liar's paradox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[telos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tough judgment calls]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=26</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I’ve got an unusual approach to stress. When I face a dilemma I don’t drink, exercise, pray, put my foot down, take a pill, meditate, go into denial, lose sleep, talk people’s ears off, take action, run away howling, watch TV, tell jokes nervously, get depressed, or assume I’m an idiot. I mean I do [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Seesaw: Explanations as the shaky balance between what is and what should be</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/seesaw/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/seesaw/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 28 May 2005 22:36:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I change him?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I do better?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a double standard?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I just accept this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I lower my expectations?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I quit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I reconsider?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I relax?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I take what he said to heart?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I wait?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What is my role here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the moral thing to do here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the spiritual thing to do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Will it promote or discourage better behavior?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[excuses]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[explanations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[how]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[why]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=143</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;No, you don&#8217;t understand. You see, I show up late for work because I have trouble waking up on time.&#8221; If someone&#8217;s behavior is bugging you, the generous way to broach the topic is to ask what drives the behavior. If there&#8217;s a good explanation, you can learn to accommodate it. If there isn&#8217;t, you [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Infinite Loops: The staying power of circular habits</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/should-i-doubt-myself/should-i-hold-onto-my-dream-or-face-reality/infinite-loops/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/should-i-doubt-myself/should-i-hold-onto-my-dream-or-face-reality/infinite-loops/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 20 May 2005 18:17:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emergence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[habits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hierarchy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hole in the bucket]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infinite loops]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[liar's paradox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[logical types]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[negative feedback loops]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reciprocal engines]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=59</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;I&#8217;ve tried pushing him. I&#8217;ve tried accepting him as he is. The only thing I haven&#8217;t tried is being consistent.&#8221; Remember an old folk tune called &#8220;There&#8217;s a Hole in the Bucket, Dear Liza&#8221;? It&#8217;s a dialogue with lots of repeated lines, designed, like &#8220;99 Bottles of Beer,&#8221; to sound tedious — tedious both to [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Misdenominational: What we really mean by irrational</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/misdenominational/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/misdenominational/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 06 Apr 2005 19:08:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I change him?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I do better?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a double standard?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth fighting for?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I just accept this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I lower my expectations?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I quit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I reconsider?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I relax?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I take what he said to heart?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I wait?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What is my role here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the moral thing to do here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the spiritual thing to do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Will it promote or discourage better behavior?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[comparison]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[denominator]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[liar's paradox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Logic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[numerator]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ratio]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rationality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=80</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;I just don&#8217;t have it in me after all. My father did, but I don&#8217;t. He was successful, and I&#8217;m not. I know it&#8217;s irrational to compare, but I can&#8217;t help it.&#8221; Being rational means using ratios — weighing one thing against another: a numerator against a denominator, oneself against one&#8217;s dad. Irrationality, therefore, means [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Attend/ignore: Go there or don&#8217;t?</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/attendignore/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/attendignore/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 03 Mar 2005 19:34:22 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I change him?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I just accept this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I lower my expectations?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I quit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I reconsider?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I relax?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I take what he said to heart?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I wait?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What is my role here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the moral thing to do here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Will it promote or discourage better behavior?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[attend]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[attention]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[barriers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boundary conditions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[buffers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[constraints]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ignore]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ostrich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[suffering]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=10</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;We were doing fine, and now suddenly all of these issues have come up. I can&#8217;t believe the things she is saying about me. I mean, why didn&#8217;t she say them a long time ago? Isn&#8217;t there some kind of statute of limitations on past relationship annoyances? I told her I wanted us to stay [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/attendignore/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Halting Moves: The universal need for ways to stop before we&#8217;re done</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/halting-moves/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/halting-moves/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 25 Feb 2005 19:43:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I just accept this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I lower my expectations?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I quit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I reconsider?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I take what he said to heart?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I wait?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Will it promote or discourage better behavior?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[halting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mulling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[questions]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rumination]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stop]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thinking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Turing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wondering]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=54</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Alan Turing, the gay, Oxford, marathon-running genius mathematician who practically invented the computer and committed suicide at 42 was interested for a time in how to stop thinking. He imagined giving a complex series of numbers to a computer programmed to find patterns, and noticed that unless and until the computer found a pattern it [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Give or Take: Life&#8217;s age-old obsession with where to draw the line</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/give-or-take/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/give-or-take/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 12 Feb 2005 18:00:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I change him?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I do better?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a double standard?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth fighting for?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I lower my expectations?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I reconsider?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I relax?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I take what he said to heart?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I wait?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What is my role here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the moral thing to do here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Will it promote or discourage better behavior?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hume]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Kant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[measure merit by performance effort]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pigheaded]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shallow hal]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[signalling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stotting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[take it or leave it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[yang]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[yin]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=49</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;This week, a few people hinted that I can be quite patronizing. At first, I was just insulted, but when I recognized that several people had used the very same word about me, I had to go look it up. &#8216;Patronizing&#8217; means acting as though I&#8217;m more intelligent than they are — which is awfully [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Rumination: Feedback loops in the mind</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/rumination/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/rumination/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 30 Jan 2005 19:53:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I do better?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a double standard?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth fighting for?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I just accept this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I lower my expectations?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I quit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I reconsider?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I relax?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I take what he said to heart?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I wait?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What is my role here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the moral thing to do here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the spiritual thing to do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Will it promote or discourage better behavior?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dampening]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feedback]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feedback loops]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[firewalls]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mulling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[semi-permeable membranes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wondering]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=142</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[A reader writes: &#8220;I&#8217;m in a bind. My partner has chosen a risky option and wants me to go along with it. I want to be helpful, but I can&#8217;t tell whether it&#8217;s more helpful to support or oppose his decision. It&#8217;s his choice, really. Still, if it turns out to be a mistake, it [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Firewalls: What you don&#8217;t know and where you don&#8217;t know it</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/firewalls/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/firewalls/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 15 Jan 2005 19:28:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I change him?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I do better?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a double standard?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth fighting for?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I just accept this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I lower my expectations?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I quit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I reconsider?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I relax?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I take what he said to heart?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I wait?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What is my role here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the moral thing to do here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the spiritual thing to do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Will it promote or discourage better behavior?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[action]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feeling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[firewalls]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rumination]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[segregation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-control]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[thought]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=39</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;I&#8217;ve got this friend who has been in an iffy relationship for a while now. She complains about it, wonders if it&#8217;s going right, thinks about leaving. Lately though, when we get together she always starts out talking about how she just needs to be more positive. That she can make it all work out [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Spin Doctor&#8217;s Hippocratic Oath: Spinning at the right time makes you smart but at the wrong time makes you a fool</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/spin-doctors-hippocratic-oath/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/spin-doctors-hippocratic-oath/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Nov 2004 17:57:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I change him?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I do better?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a double standard?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth fighting for?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I just accept this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I lower my expectations?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I quit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I reconsider?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I relax?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I take what he said to heart?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I wait?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What is my role here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the moral thing to do here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the spiritual thing to do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Will it promote or discourage better behavior?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[certain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[decided]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[deciding]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[neutrality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[positive thinking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[receptive]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[spin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[uncertain]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wondering]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=150</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You&#8217;ve probably noticed that I&#8217;m fascinated by tough judgment calls, which I define as important speculative decisions that can&#8217;t be hedged. They&#8217;re speculative, because all available options have potential benefits and costs. They can&#8217;t be hedged, because the appropriate responses to the different options work at cross-purposes to each other; they are mutually undermining. Examples [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>One hundred and achy degree turns: Overcorrecting for your last mistake</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/one-hundred-and-achy-degree-turns/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/one-hundred-and-achy-degree-turns/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 25 Oct 2004 23:48:01 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I change him?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I do better?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a double standard?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth fighting for?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I just accept this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I lower my expectations?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I quit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I reconsider?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I relax?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I take what he said to heart?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I wait?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What is my role here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the moral thing to do here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the spiritual thing to do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[over-compensating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[over-generalizing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[overcorrecting]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=93</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;Ouch. I thought I could trust you.&#8221; When people we trust do something unkind, it throws us off balance. As we fall, our assumption that we could trust them gets thrown from our hands. To catch ourselves, we reach out for something solid to hold on to. What we grab makes a big difference about [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Infantasy: The dream of unconditional love never dies young</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/friends/infantasy/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/friends/infantasy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 15 Aug 2004 01:07:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I lower my expectations?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I relax?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What is my role here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the moral thing to do here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[baby]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Freud]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infancy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[infantasy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[A primordial merged state of bliss back when loneliness didn&#8217;t exist. I&#8217;ve dreamt of that balm like the calm of my mom. You remind me of it with your kiss. I love this compassionate opening paragraph in Alain de Botton&#8217;s book &#8220;Status Anxiety&#8221;: &#8220;Every life could be said to be defined by two great love [...]]]></description>
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