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	<title>MIND READERS DICTIONARY &#187; How should I negotiate this?</title>
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	<description>For reading between the lines with greater comprehension</description>
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		<item>
		<title>Within or about:  Three positions one can take in an argument.</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/within-or-about/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/within-or-about/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Dec 2008 01:01:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I change him?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth fighting for?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What is my role here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[about]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bateson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[diplomacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[honesty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meta]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Peirce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[upleveling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[within]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=1560</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Last week I said I envied Obama&#8217;s patience in conflict, and this week as promised brings more about what it takes to display that sort of poise. This discussion also keys into two of the main themes that run through my thinking and writing. One is that the foundation of good behavior is built not [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Prevenge: &#8220;I&#8217;m like rubber; you&#8217;re like screwed.&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/prevenge-im-like-rubber-youre-like-screwed/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/prevenge-im-like-rubber-youre-like-screwed/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:51:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[annoying people]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blocking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[defensiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[denial]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[difficult people]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[double bind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-protection]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[teflon]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/prevenge-im-like-rubber-youre-like-screwed/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Have you ever blackmailed someone? I attempted to blackmail a policeman the other evening. I was driving somewhere in my usual hurry. After I rolled through a stop sign, he trailed me and gave me a ticket. I acted put out, sullen, unfriendly. He remained cheerful. After he gave me the ticket, he said, &#8220;Drive [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Butterfly punch: Shaming your opponent into putting on kid gloves before you knock him out.</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/butterfly-punch/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/butterfly-punch/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:17:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I missing the forest for trees?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moral dilemmas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moral principles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tactics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vulnerability]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wisdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=953</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Think back to a time when you fought really hard for something. Back then, how sure were you that you were right? How sure are you now that you were?If you&#8217;re like me, you pick your battles, and sometimes you pick wrong. You also intuitively track how often you changed your mind later about your [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Turing&#8217;s Blurring Anxiety (TBA): Forgiving dead jerks but not live ones.</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/turings-blurring-anxiety/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/turings-blurring-anxiety/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:13:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[closed sets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[death]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[deduction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[determinism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[difficult people]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[induction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[open sets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[serenity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[time]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[zipslide errors]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=952</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[What do you say about a deceased jerk, someone who treated you badly before shuffling off this mortal coil?The natural temptation is to say, &#8220;She could have done better,&#8221; but what could that mean? That had she tried a little harder, she would have been able to control her vices? Meaning if she had been [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Deduction: The dream and nightmare of absolute certainty him in a</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/deduction/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/deduction/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:07:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abduction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I missing the forest for trees?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ambiguity tolerance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Certainty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[deduction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[destiny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[free will]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[induction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the free willies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the future]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tough choices]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trial and error]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=950</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Last week I began comparing and contrasting computers and minds, examining both human intuitions and appetites regarding the prospect that our minds are governed by the same kind of direct one-to-one-correspondence kind of cause-and-effect we see in the physical world (Aristotle&#8217;s efficient cause). If minds are really like computers, just translating information from one form [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Other Golden Rule:  Do unto yourself as you do unto others</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/the-other-golden-rule/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/the-other-golden-rule/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 16 Dec 2007 02:24:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[double standards]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[double-standard]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[empathy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[holier than thou]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[I wouldn't put it past me]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sympathy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=943</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Golden Rule-do unto others as you would have them do unto you, is about as basic as morality gets. It&#8217;s the bridge between empathy and sympathy, between putting yourself in someone else&#8217;s shoes and making some accommodation to them as a result. Putting oneself in someone else&#8217;s shoes is, of course, a figure of [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/the-other-golden-rule/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Exploratory Commitment: The try/buy dichotomy</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/career/exploratory-commitment/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/career/exploratory-commitment/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Oct 2007 01:50:52 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[buy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feedback]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Goethe]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[investment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[speculation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tough choices]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[try]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wisdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=932</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Last week I discussed the relationship between the questions &#8220;How can I succeed?&#8221; and &#8220;Can I succeed?&#8221; The two questions form a loop. In one direction, ambition inspires you to ask, &#8220;Can I succeed?&#8221; To answer that question, you ask, &#8220;Well, how can I succeed?&#8221; Then you explore particular plans to do so. If you [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Hope: As an answer or a question</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/hope/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/hope/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Oct 2007 01:27:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[action]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[belief]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[law of attraction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[magical thinking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[optimism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pessimism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Secret]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tough choices]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[wishful thinking]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=930</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Success is as dangerous as failure; hope is as hollow as fear. Lao Tzu (translation: Stephen Mitchell) One interpretation of this line from the Tao Te Ching supports a popular piece of advice: You shouldn&#8217;t care about success or failure. Caring only makes you anxious and competitive. If you succeed at not caring, you neither [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>No, Really: Deeper meaning in conversational packing peanuts</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-trust-them/negotiation/no-really/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-trust-them/negotiation/no-really/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 15 Oct 2007 03:12:45 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Buddhism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hierarchy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[irony]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[levels]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[liar's paradox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[paradox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-contradiction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-maintenance]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=929</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There’s an old Greek story about a law teacher who guaranteed to refund a student’s tuition if he didn’t win his first case. After graduating, one student refused to pay. So the teacher sued him. The student didn’t mind, though. If he lost this, his first case, he wouldn’t have to pay his tuition. If [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Mindreader’s Rights: Don&#8217;t tell me what I&#8217;m thinking</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/mindreading-rights/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/mindreading-rights/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Oct 2007 23:42:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feedback]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[honesty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[individuality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mind reading]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mindreading]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rights]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-awareness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-doubt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sovereignety]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tell me how I feel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tough choices]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wisdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=928</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Doctor: Bob, bad news. You’ve got cancer. Bob: Well, I’m going to want a second opinion. Doctor: All right, you’re ugly too. Joe: X is true. Sue: No it’s not. Joe: You just don’t want to admit it’s true because you’re stubborn. Sue: That’s not true. Joe: Yes it is. Sue: Don’t tell me what [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Second Fundamental: Stalemates and infinite loops in a human-persuade-human world.</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/the-second-fundamental/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/the-second-fundamental/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 27 Sep 2007 14:40:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I missing the forest for trees?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emergence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[extended phenotype]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[give and take]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hierarchy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[hypersensitive]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[influence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[levels]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nagging]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pushy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wisdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=927</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“You can’t change other people. All you can do is change your attitude.” People say this sort of thing when they’ve decided to stop trying to change someone. Maybe generalizing like this helps convince them to let go, but of course it’s not true. Influence happens. Influence is as old as ecosystems. We are extensions [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Extended Memotype: On Advice, Part 1</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/extended-memotype-on-advice-part-1/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/extended-memotype-on-advice-part-1/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 21 Sep 2007 07:36:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[advice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[competition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cultural evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emergence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[extended phenotype]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feedback]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[influence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meme]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[persuasion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=926</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[People who give advice are annoying, kind, nosy, generous, pushy, helpful, proud, selfless, self-serving, and domineering. My advice is to ignore them completely and at your own expense. I&#8217;ve been given advice-and as you know, I give my share of advice, too. Well, perhaps more than my share. I&#8217;ve been thinking about the dynamics of [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Cocky: Self-certainty made easy</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/cocky/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/cocky/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 11 Sep 2007 00:59:15 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bully]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[difficult people]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nasty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pushy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Republican]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[unfair]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=801</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Why does it take 6 million sperm to fertilize an egg? Because none of them will stop to ask directions.A remarkable number of derogatory terms analogize the male genitalia. I’ve wondered why, and I think I know at least a couple of the reasons. For one, we’re shy about our genitalia&#8211;so calling attention to them [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Poser-Proof Practices: Don&#8217;t tell&#8211;show</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/poser-proof-practices/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/poser-proof-practices/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 16 Aug 2007 13:26:17 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[actions speak louder than words]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Don't tell]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fake it til you make it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[faking it]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[honesty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[poser]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[poseur]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[show]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[signalling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[truth in advertising]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[verification]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=471</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You expect people to walk their talk. When they have for a while you gain confidence that they will continue to do so, that they’re as good as their word. With established rapport, the question of whether they keep their word doesn’t even come up. But when you haven’t known someone long or when some [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Realincarnation: Requiem for the immortal soul</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/friends/realincarnation/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/friends/realincarnation/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 01 Aug 2007 11:06:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I missing the forest for trees?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[optimal illusion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reincarnation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[science]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[science and religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[scientific method]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[terror management]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=482</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I lost a friend a few months ago. I miss him, but he is gone, though he lives on in my memory. My friend didn’t die, but our connection did—and it happened over the subject of death. He used to drop by unannounced late in the evening. I welcomed him in, and welcomed also his [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Spit or Go Blind: Slang with cosmic implications</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/spit-or-go-blind/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/spit-or-go-blind/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 26 Jul 2007 00:49:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[accommodation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I expecting too much?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I missing the forest for trees?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I sliding?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[assertion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[attend]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ignore]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[optimal illusion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-deception]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[yin and yang]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=373</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“I can’t tell whether to spit or go blind.” I’ve always liked this phrase (alternatively, “shit or go blind”). It’s slang for confusion in the face of options, and etymologists aren’t sure where it comes from. Its appeal, I suspect, is partly onomatopoetic—it sounds confused. Its appeal may also be the precision with which it [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Yintimidation: Wolf in she&#8217;s clothing</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/yintimidation/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/yintimidation/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 17 Jul 2007 12:45:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[butterfly punch]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[deceit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feminism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fight]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gentle]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[manipulation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[passive agressive]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[receptivity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[surrender]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[yang]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[yin]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=168</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Big gruff men &#8211; supersaturated with testosterone &#8211; bully people with their stentorian voices, raised hackles, and looming bulk. Wielding the yang sword of decisiveness they impose their will, and women and children scramble for safety. The scrambling pays off in counterstrategies. When you don’t have yang working for you, you make yin work instead. [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/yintimidation/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Offanonda Meditation: Learning flexibility in fits and starts</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/offanonda-meditation/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/offanonda-meditation/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Jul 2007 11:25:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[braking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[computers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[discouragement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[encouragement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intermittent]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[intermittent reinforcement]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[on and off]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[partial]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[skidding]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=91</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Absence does not make the heart grow fonder; it reveals the depth of your heart’s fondness. Lately I realized just how partial I’ve been to my PC, which for reasons no tech support person can yet divine has taken to launching into long reveries in the middle of my work. Out of the blue, the [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Youjustifications: Why are we fighting? Let me not count the ways</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/youjustifications/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/youjustifications/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Jun 2007 14:54:14 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I expecting too much?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I sliding?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cause]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[denial]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[explanations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guilt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[justifications]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rationalles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reasons]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=169</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Youjustifications : I&#8217;m right because you just&#8230; Again, he&#8217;s ready to leave for an event and she&#8217;s not. He asks her how long she&#8217;ll be, honestly, because once he knows, he can adjust, do something to pass the time, manage his impatience with distractions. It&#8217;s just the uncertainty that irritates him. To appease his impatience [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Down &amp; Out, Up &amp; Out, Out &amp; Out: Reading between the lines on &#8220;Fine&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/down-out-up-out-out-out/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/down-out-up-out-out-out/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 13 Jun 2007 11:21:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I expecting too much?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I missing the forest for trees?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[analysis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dominance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[going meta]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hierarchy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[levels]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[logical types]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meta]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[subordination]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[superiority]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=29</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“Fine.” A single syllable, so rich in possible meanings&#8211;does it mean fine as in “You’re right,” as in “You’re wrong,” as in “I fold,” or some complex blend of the three? Conflict within a relationship often leads to reflection about the relationship. Saying “fine,” we step out of the conflict for a little perspective. Psychologically [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/down-out-up-out-out-out/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>Can&#8217;tibration: What do you mean, you can&#8217;t?</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/cantibration/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/business/cantibration/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 09 May 2007 16:15:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this a sign?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I wait?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I expecting too much?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I sliding?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boundariies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[can]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[can't]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[doing your part]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[expectation management]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mutuality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[responsibility]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[victimhood]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=17</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Dinner at an all-you-can-eat restaurant last week reminded me how fundamentally ambiguous the word can is. Its meaning falls between “want to” and “can endure without dying,” just as, conversely, the word need falls somewhere between “want” and “will die without.” Imagine an all-you-can-eat restaurant with a reverse bouncer, a big galoot who won’t let [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>Exempt By Contempt: &#8220;I&#8217;ve checked with me and we both agree you&#8217;re inferior&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/friends/exempt-by-contempt/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/friends/exempt-by-contempt/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 18 Apr 2007 18:11:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the moral thing to do here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I sliding?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[denial]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[evasion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pot calling kettle capped]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[projecting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[projection]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-awareness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-confidence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-deception]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-doubt]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[strategy]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=35</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[“I can’t believe how closed-minded he is.” We might conclude that the person who says this is pretty open-minded. After all the more open-minded one is, the less one is able to believe how closed-minded other people can be, right? Not necessarily. For three reasons, it&#8217;s easier to detect others&#8217; closed-mindedness than one&#8217;s own. First, [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Coherence: Making our ideas consistent with each other</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/coherence/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/coherence/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Apr 2007 17:50:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the moral thing to do here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I missing the forest for trees?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I sliding?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coherence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[correspondence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[double standards]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hierarchy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[inconsistency]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Logic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[logical inconsistency]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[right hand not knowing what left is doing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[two faced]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[two sides of your mouth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What's the spiritual thing to do?]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=22</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;You’re wrong; it&#8217;s not the same thing at all.&#8221; You press a friend on an inconsistency, some double standard that has him talking out of both sides of his mouth. He denies it and you&#8217;re left to wonder who&#8217;s right, him or you? Well of course it depends. Maybe he is being consistent and his [...]]]></description>
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		<item>
		<title>Co-Satisficing: Squeaky wheels and vicious cycles</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/co-satisficing/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/co-satisficing/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 04 Apr 2007 01:57:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I be thinking about the bigger picture?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dialectical]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emergence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[habit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hierarchy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[liar's paradox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Logic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[negative feedback loops]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[oscillation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[paradox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Reciprocating engines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[undecideables]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=21</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;Darling, you&#8217;re absolutely right. I haven&#8217;t been paying you much attention, but from now on things are going to be different.&#8221;. &#8220;On&#8221; is the iffy word here. We’re generally not wise enough that a word to the wise, wises us up forever more. As long as the pressure is high, we respond. When the pressure [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>MOGIBO (Me Outside. Good Inside. Bad Outside): Personal popularity in popular culture</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/mogibo/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/mogibo/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 21 Mar 2007 16:56:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[about]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bad]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emergence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[good]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[happy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hierarchy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[inside]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[levels]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Logic]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lonely]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[outside]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[popular music]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[song]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[within]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/blog/?p=82</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[MOGIBO is the sentiment expressed in many popular tunes, old and new: I’ve lost at love. I’m out of the loop and it’s sad. I can’t win in the mainstream. The world has left me behind. MOGIBO is one of just a few basic relationships possible between the in-crowd, the out-crowd, good and bad, and [...]]]></description>
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