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	<title>MIND READERS DICTIONARY &#187; Can I change him?</title>
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	<description>For reading between the lines with greater comprehension</description>
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		<title>Within or about:  Three positions one can take in an argument.</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/within-or-about/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/within-or-about/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Dec 2008 01:01:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Can I change him?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I trust them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is there a win/win solution?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth fighting for?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect less from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I expect more from them?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What is my role here?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[about]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bateson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[diplomacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[honesty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meta]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Peirce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[upleveling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[within]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=1560</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Last week I said I envied Obama&#8217;s patience in conflict, and this week as promised brings more about what it takes to display that sort of poise. This discussion also keys into two of the main themes that run through my thinking and writing. One is that the foundation of good behavior is built not [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Seven habits of sometimes effective critics: Unreliable sure-fire recipes for speaking your mind</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/seven-habits/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/seven-habits/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 Nov 2008 19:08:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[criticism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[diplomacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feedback]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[niceness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[strategy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tolerance]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=1204</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Sure-fire recipes are wonderful things, and the history of civilization can be read as the search for and discovery of such recipes. Unfortunately, it can also be read as a long line of claims to have discovered allegedly sure-fire recipes that turn out to be not so sure-fire after all. Every day we experience the [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>The Tact Game: Is there always a winning way to give critical feedback?</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/the-tact-game/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/the-tact-game/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 Nov 2008 18:58:24 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[criticism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[diplomacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feedback]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[niceness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[strategy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tolerance]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=1193</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s commonly held that critical feedback never has to hurt so long as you deliver it tactfully. Tact transcends all resistance. There&#8217;s a nice way to say anything. I live by that belief and promote it to my students. I tell them to assume that there&#8217;s nothing they can&#8217;t say to anyone as long as [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Exit interview: The pros and cons of giving feedback as a relationship ends</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/exit-interview/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/exit-interview/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 04 Nov 2008 18:58:03 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[criticism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[diplomacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ending relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[exits]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[feedback]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[niceness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[quitting]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[strategy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tolerance]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=1195</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I left a band recently. I had my reasons but wasn&#8217;t sure whether to share them on exit. I didn&#8217;t want to be dishonest. I can remember times when people gave me vacuous excuses for parting with me. Here I had invested heavily in a relationship and they were too stingy to let me in [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Nounism: Taking THINGS too seriously</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/nounism/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/nounism/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 Oct 2008 23:55:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Emergence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[language]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[name calling]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nouns]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Palin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[permanence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reification]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[republicans]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=1106</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Last week New Yorker columnist George Packer noted that while Sarah Palin&#8217;s syntax is mangled, more significantly it lacks verbs. It&#8217;s mostly nouns. Maverick, hockey mom, Joe sixpack, elitist, terrorist, small-town people&#8211;lots of heavily loaded nouns. Loaded nouns and the adjectives that modify them are part of everyone&#8217;s vocabulary, but in recent decades&#8211;under the influence [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Reality and &#8220;Reality&#8221;: Our high-stakes referendum on two definitions</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/reality/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/reality/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 22 Oct 2008 22:59:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[epistemology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[facts]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pragmatism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[republicans]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rove]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-serving]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=1107</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Our election is 13 days away. If you&#8217;re bothered by my political focus lately, please know I&#8217;ll be back to the usual soon. This election is proving to be a referendum on the central tenets of Mindreaders Dictionary. I can&#8217;t resist making the connections. I watch this election from several perspectives. Among them: Mine: What [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Teamwork: We&#8217;re in charge, whatever that means</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/teamwork/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/teamwork/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 19 Sep 2008 00:34:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boards]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bosses]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[committees]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hierarchy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[process]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[teamwork]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=1050</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/teamwork/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Virtue Verbiage: Thou shalt always throw</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/virtue-verbiage/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/virtue-verbiage/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 26 Aug 2008 17:10:04 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bad]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ethics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[good]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moral absolutes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[morality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[right and wrong]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[two-sided]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=994</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Yesterday I found myself at a business consultant&#8217;s birthday party where I met a warm fellow who was eager to tell me about a book he has just written about caring. Like all consultants, he was able to describe how dysfunctional large organizations can be and quick also to identify the one thing that would [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Fallibilism: Every belief is a bet but some bets are better than others</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/fallibilism/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/fallibilism/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 Jul 2008 02:12:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bible]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[confidence levels]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[epistemology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fallibalism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fundamentalism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[god]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[salvataion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-certainty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-doubt]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=977</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The other day I had a very interesting conversation with a truly engaged and engaging Christian. We were talking about the Bible. He&#8217;s a literalist. He believes that the Bible&#8217;s meaning is clear and certain, and that it&#8217;s only when other people engage in an act he calls &#8220;interpreting&#8221; that things get muddled. I asked [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>SCIBIT: Building a scientifically coherent integrated bottom-up information theory</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/scibit/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/scibit/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 11 Jun 2008 06:47:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[energy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[information]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[language]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[linguistics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[origins of language]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[origins of life]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[science]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[semiotics]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=960</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[As you know, when I&#8217;m not juicing the details of everyday interaction to extract the basic dance moves people make in dealing with tough judgment calls, I&#8217;m working with academic colleagues on putting together what I&#8217;ll call a SCIBIT-a Scientifically Coherent Integrated Bottom-up Information Theory. Information theory is a theory about what information is and [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Seven Wonderings of the Modern World: The human tough judgment calls</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/seven-wonderings-of-the-modern-world/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/seven-wonderings-of-the-modern-world/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 10 Jun 2008 17:07:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[acids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I missing the forest for trees?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[decided]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[deciding]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Faith vs. reason]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gratification]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[human nature]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[long-term]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[myopium]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[short-term]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tough choices]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tough judgment calls]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=970</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve been doing Mind Readers Dictionary steadily for close to five years&#8211;one article, one idea per week. Only now am I getting around the stuff that started it all for me, the universal tough judgment calls at the heart of all the uncertainty we feel in any and every area of life. Last week I [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Granularity: Think as big as possible but no bigger</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/granularity-think-as-big-as-possible-but-no-bigger/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/granularity-think-as-big-as-possible-but-no-bigger/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 28 May 2008 21:23:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I missing the forest for trees?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Einstein]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[granularity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guidance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hierarchy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Insanity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[macro]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[micro]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mission]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[scale]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[scope]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Serenity prayer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[size]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tactics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tasks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tough choices]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[zoom]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[zoom lens]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=968</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve argued before that there are three types of guidance or wisdom. The first and simplest is the &#8220;always do X&#8221; type. For example, always think positive thoughts, always follow your father&#8217;s advice, or always do what the Bible says. The second is the &#8220;a time for X; a time for Y&#8221; type, the wise [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Generic Tough Judgment Calls:  Why don&#8217;t we have names for them?</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/generic-tough-judgment-calls/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/generic-tough-judgment-calls/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 09 May 2008 14:59:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[acids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I missing the forest for trees?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[close calls]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[coinings]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[language]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[neologism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[psychology]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tough choices]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tough judgment calls]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[uncertainty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Universal tough judgment calls]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=966</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Recently, I was listening to an NPR report on Jimmy Carter&#8217;s meeting with leaders of the Palestinian militant Hamas party. The reporter had two experts on to debate the merits of Carter&#8217;s action. One argued that Carter sent the wrong message. Diplomatic engagement only encourages Hamas leaders to stand irrationally firm. The other said Carter [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/generic-tough-judgment-calls/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Conventional wisdom: In times like these we need more of what specifically?</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/conventional-wisdom/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/conventional-wisdom/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 04 May 2008 15:20:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[absolutism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[certainties]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[generosity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[guinidng principles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moral absolutes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[morals]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nice]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-certainty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wisdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=965</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I didn&#8217;t choose to do all this philosophizing the way one chooses a career. I got into it by necessity. What I had to go on before was inadequate. I had hit a midlife crisis armed with state-of-the-art wisdom from self-help and Buddhism . . . and it just wasn&#8217;t up to the task. That [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/conventional-wisdom/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>2</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Exaptation: The loose link between representation and function</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/exaptation/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/exaptation/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 27 Apr 2008 15:18:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[function]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meaning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pragmatism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[representation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[root causes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[semiotics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[significance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[uses]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wisdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=964</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m a musician. I&#8217;ll admit that when I was a teen, I got into it as a way to improve my status with women. I don&#8217;t know that it ever helped much; I&#8217;m no superstar. Still, I&#8217;ve stayed a musician. Music has stayed functional in my life. But now, music represents something other than status [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Floating for-ness: Under a firm mantle of function, molten motives churn.</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/floating-for-ness/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/floating-for-ness/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 24 Apr 2008 02:34:51 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I missing the forest for trees?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cause]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[function]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pragmatism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[reliability]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[representation]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[root causes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tough choices]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wisdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=963</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You&#8217;re in love, or so you think. You certainly feel in love, but now that you&#8217;ve been run through the mill a few times, you wonder what the feeling really means. You love being loved. But think about it, why does this person love you? What&#8217;s the motivation? When someone says, &#8220;I love you,&#8221; what [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Brain Velcro: Why good things happen to bad ideas</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/brain-velcro/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/brain-velcro/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 08 Apr 2008 19:27:55 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[brain velcro]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[idea viruses]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ideas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[liked and likely stories]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[memes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pr]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[promo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/brain-velcro-why-good-things-happen-to-bad-ideas/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Most people even mildly interested in evolution have heard about the &#8220;selfish gene.&#8221; The concept is simple yet with counterintuitive implications. Richard Dawkins, who coined the term, argues that the best way to understand evolution is to imagine that genes selfishly want to preserve themselves, and so produce elaborate replicator vehicles (us) designed to help [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/brain-velcro/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Self-efficacy: How supply permits demand</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/career/self-efficacy/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/career/self-efficacy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:32:37 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ability]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[childrearing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-efficacy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-esteem]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-worth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[skill-buildiing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[training]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wisdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/self-efficacy-how-supply-permits-demand/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[&#8220;Give the work to the busy man,&#8221; my mother used to say. It made sense. A busy man (or woman, in her case) had momentum and a can-do spirit. The technical name for a can-do spirit is self-efficacy, a belief that you are capable of being effective. Psychologist Albert Bandura, who coined the term, attributes [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Prevenge: &#8220;I&#8217;m like rubber; you&#8217;re like screwed.&#8221;</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/prevenge-im-like-rubber-youre-like-screwed/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/prevenge-im-like-rubber-youre-like-screwed/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 27 Mar 2008 14:51:31 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[annoying people]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blocking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[defensiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[denial]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[difficult people]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[double bind]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[self-protection]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[teflon]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/prevenge-im-like-rubber-youre-like-screwed/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Have you ever blackmailed someone? I attempted to blackmail a policeman the other evening. I was driving somewhere in my usual hurry. After I rolled through a stop sign, he trailed me and gave me a ticket. I acted put out, sullen, unfriendly. He remained cheerful. After he gave me the ticket, he said, &#8220;Drive [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Butterfly punch: Shaming your opponent into putting on kid gloves before you knock him out.</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/butterfly-punch/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/butterfly-punch/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:17:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I missing the forest for trees?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moral dilemmas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[moral principles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[shame]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tactics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vulnerability]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wisdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=953</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Think back to a time when you fought really hard for something. Back then, how sure were you that you were right? How sure are you now that you were?If you&#8217;re like me, you pick your battles, and sometimes you pick wrong. You also intuitively track how often you changed your mind later about your [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Turing&#8217;s Blurring Anxiety (TBA): Forgiving dead jerks but not live ones.</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/turings-blurring-anxiety/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/turings-blurring-anxiety/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:13:21 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[closed sets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[death]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[deduction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[determinism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[difficult people]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forgiveness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[induction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[open sets]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[serenity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[time]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[zipslide errors]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=952</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[What do you say about a deceased jerk, someone who treated you badly before shuffling off this mortal coil?The natural temptation is to say, &#8220;She could have done better,&#8221; but what could that mean? That had she tried a little harder, she would have been able to control her vices? Meaning if she had been [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Guesswork: Enough is enough, but how much is enough?</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/guesswork/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/guesswork/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:10:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I stay?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abduction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ambiguity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[deduction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fallibalism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[induction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[risk]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[uncertainty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Wisdom]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=951</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Three weeks ago I recounted a lot of tough problems raised over the ages about how cause and effect really work. One of the toughest was that if cause and effect works like we normally think it does-thing A bumps into thing B and moves it in a precisely predictable direction, then the whole universe [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/guesswork/feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Deduction: The dream and nightmare of absolute certainty him in a</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/deduction/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/deduction/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:07:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I negotiate this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abduction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I missing the forest for trees?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ambiguity tolerance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Certainty]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[deduction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[destiny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[free will]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[induction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Paradoxes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Religion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Romance]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the free willies]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[the future]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tough choices]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[trial and error]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=950</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Last week I began comparing and contrasting computers and minds, examining both human intuitions and appetites regarding the prospect that our minds are governed by the same kind of direct one-to-one-correspondence kind of cause-and-effect we see in the physical world (Aristotle&#8217;s efficient cause). If minds are really like computers, just translating information from one form [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
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		<title>The Free Willies: Are computers like humans? Are humans like computers?</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/the-free-willies-are-computers-like-humans-are-humans-like-computers/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/can-i-change-him/communication/the-free-willies-are-computers-like-humans-are-humans-like-computers/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 12 Feb 2008 17:03:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How can I communicate this to her?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[How should I handle this conflict?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Is this worth wondering about?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I commit?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should I do about this business problem?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What to do about finances?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Which move helps my career?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abduction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Am I missing the forest for trees?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ambiguity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Can I get resolution on this?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Causality]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[deduction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[determinism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Environment]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Evolution]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[induction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Learning]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Philosophy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[predestination]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[zombie]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=949</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The World Wide Web, it&#8217;s like a giant human mind the way it processes billions of pieces of information. Someday it will become so smart it takes over the world. It will be able to think instead of us. Or so some cognitive scientists say. Your new computer too, it thinks so fast. The better [...]]]></description>
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		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Co-dependence: When do two wrongs make a right?</title>
		<link>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/children/co-dependence/</link>
		<comments>http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/children/co-dependence/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 03 Jan 2008 03:35:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Jeremy Sherman</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[How should I handle it with my friend?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I fight on?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I get over it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I give in?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I hold onto my dream or face reality?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I sacrifice?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Should I say it?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[What should we do about this family issue?]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[co-dependence]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[co-dependency]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Decision making]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friendship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kindness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rhetoric]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[standards]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tolerance]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.mindreadersdictionary.com/?p=947</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;m trying a new way to deal with effronteries. When someone does me harm, I have an old habit of compensating myself with the grant of retaliatory superiority. I automatically think, &#8220;This proves that I&#8217;m different from (and better than) them. I hold to the high standards better than they do, and I&#8217;m therefore entitled [...]]]></description>
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